How I get out of depression

A shocking realization in the morning.

It’s surprisingly easy for me to fall into depression.

I had been depressed for many years. The whole experience was unpleasant because I was extremely unkind to myself. At that time, I didn’t know that I needed help. I ended up being suicidal as my mental and emotional states deteriorated.

What had saved me was my first taste of mental peace.

There were no snide comments, no judgments and no mean voices in my head. My mind was completely silent.

You wouldn’t believe how relieved I was. I finally felt like I could breathe again.

I remember I said to myself, “This is what inner peace must be like.”

I have never looked back since.

I made it my personal goal to be at peace and to experience inner peace every day.

I woke up in the morning and the first thing that I did was choosing inner peace. I did this for days, months and years until being at peace became my default.

Along the way, I learned that our mind can either be a powerful ally or our greatest enemy.

What I have observed with me is when I don’t manage my negative thoughts, negative emotions tend to run rampant which cause anger, upsets, sadness, depression, hopelessness, etc.

I don’t deny there are times when I forgot to manage my thoughts and that’s when it’s easy for me to become depressed.

Fortunately for me, I know how to get myself out of depression. No medicine required. Instead, I go within and check-in with myself.

I ask myself, what thoughts are running in my head?

Almost all the time, they are negative thoughts either about myself, other people, situations, circumstances, you name it.

It’s mentally and emotionally painful for me to be in any negative state. I’d rather experience inner peace than negativity.

Once I choose to be at peace, I bring all my focus on inner peace. As I do, negative emotions leave my body and negative thoughts no longer trigger me.

I find this is a powerful way to deal with negative thoughts and emotions. I have been using this method to successfully get myself out of the inner negativity that I have experienced.

I don’t deny, ignore or suppress any negative thoughts that I have. I also don’t feed them and I don’t give my energy to them. Instead, I acknowledge them and I shift my focus to inner peace.

Choosing to be at peace isn’t easy especially when we have invested in having drama in our life. It can be easy when we are committed to having inner peace every second in our daily life.

Being at peace isn’t just for the monks. It’s not reserve for the few. It’s available for everyone.

Anyone can be at peace if they choose to.

The question is, do you choose it?

If you are ready to have mental peace and experience inner peace, I invite you to work with me. Details can be found here.


It’s a topic that’s uncomfortable to talk about.

I bring it up because one of my aunts passed away a few days ago.

Her death reminded me of the two deaths that had affected me deeply.

One was my late cousin when I was a teenager, and another one was my late mother when I was a young adult.

With my late cousin’s death, I felt incredibly overwhelmed at his unexpected departure. At that time, I never experienced losing someone before. The pain was unbearable, coupled with my disbelieve that he was gone. My feelings were too much for me to handle, and I didn’t know how to process the intense feelings of loss and deep sadness.

With my late mother’s sudden death, I took a different route entirely. I shut down my feelings because I thought that I had to remain strong for my siblings. I can tell you that’s the wrong approach to deal with losing one’s mother.

In all honesty, I don’t think I ever get over my cousin’s death all these years. Although I know that at some point, I will have to deal with it so that I can be at peace with it.

With my mother’s death, I went through the stages of grief. I was in denial for years, and then I became super f*cking angry at God for taking her away from me. At that time, I couldn’t accept that it was her time to leave and move on. I had felt guilty, I had regrets and I was depressed for years. The only way for me to be okay with her death was knowing that she had suffered enough in her life, and death was mercy for her.

It has been more than a decade since my mother’s death. I’ve learned a few things that have helped me to finally be at peace with death.

My view is death is a necessary experience for the soul. Without death, the soul wouldn’t get to experience the variety and colorful lives on Earth. Whether it’s a peaceful or traumatic experience, that’s up to each of us and the agreement that our soul had made.

There is this idea that we can design our life, and therefore we can also design our death.

I’ve decided long ago how I am going to “leave”. I promise that it won’t be soon. I still need to complete the work that I’m here to do.

Do I feel sad about leaving the people that I love behind?
Yes and no.
Yes, because a part of me is attached to them. It doesn’t want to leave them behind. It wants to continue living, to have fun, to love, to travel, to experience what else it hasn’t experienced before, etc.
No, because when my time is up, that’s it. What’s on earth has no importance to me or rather my soul when it is time for me to leave. I’ve done what I needed to do and that’s all that matters. My best hope is for them to let me go as soon as possible.

If you find reading this scared the hell out of you, that isn’t my intention. If you think that I’m depressed and need help, I assure you that my mind is sound. I admit I do get depressed once in a while but today while writing this, isn’t one of those days.

I hope that my aunt is transitioning peacefully.
Rest in Peace aunty.

Cosmic Master Ganesh

I recently found out my other spiritual teachers who have been with me since I was born.

I was surprised by two of them.

And is one of them is The Cosmic Master Ganesh.

He is with me for my life lessons and life path.

When I first heard of him many years ago, I only knew him as the remover of obstacles.

I wasn’t aware of him as one of my spiritual teachers, unlike Ascended Master Isis, who came to me during my meditation back in 2014.

I recently learned that those with Ganesh often have inner scars.
These deep emotional scars often restrict us in our lives on so many levels.

In my case, he asks me to look within and see the truth within me, and in this truth love self. It is through self-knowledge that self-healing occurs.

It feels a lot like this saying, “the truth shall set you free.”

I can’t help but laugh at the synchronicities.

From my first transformation back in 2011, I learned to look within to find my truth.
Then I realized that not many people resonate with my truth.
I had to learn to accept that some people would never resonate with my truth.
Since then, I acknowledge that my truth is my truth.
Others may not agree or resonate with them.
It doesn’t matter.
Because my truth is true for me.

Finding my truth has saved me countless times, more than I can remember.

It saves me from the inner conflicts that I had.

Through finding my truth, I uncovered many lies that I thought were truths.
They made me questioned myself and my beliefs.
As I dove deeper with each question, I eventually found the truth for me.
And every time I discovered my truth, I set myself free to be me.

I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if I didn’t honor my truth.

I get it if other people find me strange.
I’ve accepted that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea or coffee.
And that’s okay with me.

Back to Ganesh.

Right now, Ganesh is working with humanity to heal our inner scarring.

If you feel called to heal your inner scarring, you can work with him.

I have been working with him every day now since I found out that he is one of my spiritual teachers.

There are two easy ways to connect with him.

You can call on him during meditation.
However, if you feel unsure about the authenticity of the Being who come forward, whether it is Ganesh himself or an imposter (which can happen), then you can use the second way.

The second way is via his portal card.
Ganesh has made a portal card of his pure energy.
By placing his portal card onto a chakra point, his healing energy will flow directly into you.

I have been connecting and receiving his healing every single day via his portal card.

I printed the portal and laminated it for my personal use.

Below is a short video of the portal of Ganesh.

As you look at the portal, open your heart, and receive his healing energy.


If you are interested in this portal card, you can contact me via the contact form, or you can DM me at Instagram.

I will direct you to the creator’s webpage.

An injured dog saught healing

Recently there was an injured dog that took refuge at my sister’s garage.

When I arrived, I didn’t notice the dog.

However, I noticed there was a stench. The smell was awful.
I thought cats peed on their welcome doormat.

I mentioned it to my sister when I entered her house.
My brother-in-law went outside to check.
He came back and informed us that an injured dog at the corner of their garage.
The dog looked weak too.

I went outside to see it for myself. I agree with my brother-in-law.
The dog looked weak and it was badly injured.

We were concerned that if the dog was left unattended, it wouldn’t survive given the severe condition it was in.

I immediately thought to contact Care and Actions for Strays (CAS).
I looked them up and I sent a Facebook message as well as a DM on their Instagram.
(I couldn’t find a phone number to call).
I didn’t receive any reply from them from both social media.

After 15 minutes had passed, I decided to email them about the dog.

I finally received a reply from them.

In the email, they were asking how severe the injury was and if we have pictures to share. They also mentioned that they were short on manpower and had to check how they can assist us further.
This was the first and final email that I received from them.

I took two pictures and emailed to them.

And I sent another email to ask them to pick up the dog because we were concerned that the dog wouldn’t survive.
No reply from them.

To be honest, I was disappointed and I am still disappointed.
1. I was expecting a fast response from them.
2. I was expecting that they would assist and take in the dog right away.

I guess I was fooled by the rescue updates that they have shared on their Facebook. I honestly thought that they would rescue any strays.

I don’t deny that I felt stressed about this. I didn’t know how I could help the dog.

To keep my mind off the stress, I decided to meditate.

After a few minutes of meditating, I remembered there is an ascended master that does animal healing.
I then changed my focus and decided to meditate and connect with Ascended Master Kuthumi.

I asked for healing for the dog and for it to find a better place for him to be well taken care of.

Immediately after my request, in my mind, I saw a white hooded figure, floating slightly on top of the dog while putting out his hands sending healing energy to it.
That was a lovely confirmation that my request was answered.

I think it was about half an hour after I was done meditating, my brother-in-law went outside to check the dog.

We were surprised that the dog was gone.

We didn’t know where it went.

The smell of the stench was still there although faded. The evidence of his injury was on the walls and floor of the garage.

I felt sad that I couldn’t do anything else to help the dog.

There was a question that one of my nephews asked.

“Why did the dog “choose” their house?”
There are more than 20 houses in their street, and yet the dog chose the corner of their garage.

At first, I didn’t know the answer to that question.

But later that day, I realized that I might have the answer. It may not be the real answer, but I resonate well with it.

The dog needed healing, and it could sense that someone in my sister’s house could provide the healing, which was me.
It was waiting to be healed through me.
That was why the dog “chose” to be there.

This incident made me think of the following questions.

Why do we have people coming into our lives?
What purpose does each one of them have by being in our lives or connecting with us?
What lessons do they bring into our lives?
What lessons do we bring into their lives?

For us to find these answers, we have to look within.
We need to examine our relationships with each one of these people and find the most probable answers for ourselves.
It doesn’t matter if other people disagree with us.
What matters the most is that the answers that we got are the ones that we resonate with.

I’m a huge believer in synchronicities.
I believe there are reasons why things happen.
Whatever that reason is, this is the one that I’m most resonate with.

Self-Love: How to embody it


Someone asked me about self-love this week, and it made me reflect on my journey.

I had been struggling with self-love for most of my adult life.

I’ve heard about self-love for many years. However, during those times, I only knew the concept in theory. I didn’t know how to practice it, let alone embody it.

Back then, I was very familiar with self-hatred, self-beratement, and self-judgments, sadly to my detriment.

Here is the question that I asked myself.

Why was it so difficult for me to love me?

The answer that I got was because something happened a long time ago and I saw that as one huge mistake. And therefore, a part of me punished me for making that mistake by withholding love.

It was like a part of me thought that I didn’t deserve love because I made that mistake.

Since then, I had learned to degrade myself every time I made other mistakes. I would even go as far as calling myself stupid just because I made those mistakes.

After years of degrading myself, filling myself with self-hatred, self-beratement, and self-judgments became my constant companions. There was never a day that went by without them occupied most of my inner thoughts.

Thirty years later, which was earlier this year, I was finally able to embody self-love.

It took me by surprise.

I was able to love myself with ease.

Even my husband, Bobby, couldn’t believe my transformation.

Self-love didn’t come easy for me.

What used to be a concept has now become my reality.

The journey that I took involved a lot of letting go of my stories about my past, countless energy clearings on several levels, and also doing the necessary inner work.

Do I treat myself differently now with regards to making mistakes?

I am not going to lie.

I still make mistakes. Big and small. Countless times. I make them once in a while nowadays.

The big difference between now and then is I am quick to forgive myself.

Any mistakes that I made, instead of blaming, shaming, and being mean to myself, I forgive myself, I learn from my mistakes, and I gently instruct my brain to remember to not repeat the same mistakes in the future.

I no longer condemn myself for making mistakes.

The energy and experience are definitely different from before.

It’s like taking a breath of fresh air.

I feel freer than ever.

How can one practice self-love?

Here are my suggestions if you want to undertake the journey to embody self-love.

  1. Make self-love a priority. Choose to love yourself all the time. Loving yourself includes being compassionate, being aware and choosing to stop any negative and disempowering thinking about yourself and other people. The time when you are mean to yourself, that’s when you need to love yourself the most.
  2. Practice genuine forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness comes from the heart. Forgive yourself, your younger self, and everyone who is involved in a particular event in your past. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time thing. Continuously forgive until you are no longer triggered.
  3. Do a lot of self-reflection. Reflect on events that happened in the past. Observe what happened without being invested. What insights do you get from watching the event? What can you learn from it? What are possible for you now?
  4. Letting go. There are so many things that we took on when we grew up that shaped our reality, whether they are beneficial or otherwise. Learn to question their validity and whether they resonate with your inner truth. If they no longer resonate with you, it’s time to let them go. Holding on to them will only hurt you whether it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
  5. Energy clearing. Clear energetic blockages in your chakras. Clear your emotional body from disempowering emotional patterns. Release suppressed emotions from your emotional storage. Clear your mental body from disempowering thought patterns.
    (Sometimes blockages and disempowering patterns may hinder a person from experiencing self-love)

Here is my take on self-love and my own struggle with it.

My struggle with self-love had shown me that this was the aspect of myself that I needed to learn and master.

As long as I haven’t learned to love myself, I will continue to have this unloving battle within myself.

For decades, I have been extremely good at hating, judging, and scrutinizing myself.

I had to go through the ugliest situations and circumstances to know what self-love isn’t.

I guess that I was fortunate that earlier this year was the time for me to make a big change.

It was time to love myself unconditionally.

My spiritual teacher shared that, “Things don’t happen to you… they happen for you.

Whatever that you had experienced in the past that made you feel self-love seems impossible, you need to know that those events had to happen so that you can rise above them.

I absolutely get it if you feel those events seem rather cruel.

The fact of the matter is, they happened.

We can’t change what happened in the past. No matter how much we want to.

What we can do is have new empowering perspectives about those events.

And it is really up to you to empower yourself despite what happened in the past.

The question that you might want to ask yourself is are you doing everything that you can to overcome your struggle so that you can finally experience self-love for yourself?

Self-love is an internal journey.

It can only be achieved from within. Hence, self-love.

It is love for oneself, that is from within.